This year I turn 49. I’m doing work that I am really passionate about but still find myself having the inevitable thoughts that happen around every decade birthday. “Am I where I thought I would be in my career? In my life? Am I happy with what I have achieved?”. Sometimes those thoughts pass briefly, sometimes they do actually keep me awake in the middle of the night. Mostly, I feel as if I’m going in the direction that I think I should be but other times I wonder if I am doing enough in my career and my life. I can be a heavy burden.
These questions and challenges populate the daily conversations of a career coach, form the foundation of many meetings and are the reason why so many people seek me out in the first place. When I sit opposite my clients, I love that they trust me with the truth of how they really feel. To the outside world, they look very together and capable and as though they must absolutely have made very good career decisions but internally sometimes the truth is quite different. There can be doubt and fear combined with a feeling that they want to do more or possibly something different in their career but they don’t know how. It’s the case when they are considering a career move of their own choice. The feelings when there’s a redundancy involved are even more intense.
Redundancy closer to 50 takes on a different meaning than it did in the 30’s or early 40’s. I’ve worked with many senior women (and a few men) lately who are in the late 40’s to early 50’s age bracket and it’s made me reflect more about the experience of redundancy at this age.
In the lead up to 50, I think most people’s career thoughts and questions become focused on questions such as “What do I want to do with my last 15 or so productive years and is it what I’m doing now?”. I don’t know anyone who realistically wants to retire at 55 as people once did, because it seems far too young to retire. For women with families, their children may be finishing school, going to university and possibly leaving home, which opens up the possibility of working more or differently and means a big change in family life. For some it’s an exciting thought, for others it’s daunting. Career prospects may be changing – a career step up or down may be possible, board roles might be a consideration, taking on long dreamed of personal projects, study or some things that have taken a back seat to family responsibilities might become realistic options. Sometimes things are not working out as expected. Occasionally, a client will express a general concern about whether her age is a factor which is well worth a conversation and reflection. My theory is that age is only an issue if you think it’s an issue and if you do, there are some important coaching conversations to be had about why. Sometimes I also call on other experts to help, including image consultants. I personally find that I need to revamp and reinvigorate my personal style at least every decade which in turn reflects the evolution of my brand.
Some women go through redundancy around this age and express genuine concern to me about whether their maturity and experience will be a plus or a minus when they go out to the market. I had a heartbreaking meeting recently with a new client who is in her early 50’s and after 30 years in an organisation had been made redundant the week before in quite a brutal manner. She feels cast aside and she is shattered. I know she will be okay because she is fundamentally a strong person, but those conversations are very hard and I will never get used to them. Others don’t express their emotion or fear quite so clearly but it’s there under the surface none the less. Some are the major breadwinner in their family so their major concern is “How long will my job search take?”. I can’t give guarantees but I can teach them about their brand, the best strategy and how to access the job market in the most effective way. Some have been made redundant before. Depending on their experience, they are either fearful or accepting. If they have had a previously long job search, they tend to be very fearful that it will happen again, in spite of reassurances.
The good news is that at 47, 49 or 52 you offer things that younger candidates don’t. The most obvious is genuine maturity and experience. You are a Leader. You have seen and lived through many business cycles so when they come, you know what to do. You have also managed change in a real sense. Genuine change management ability is hard to come by. Everyone thinks they have it, very few people actually do. Experience in senior roles taking organisations through restructures, mergers and other complex business cycles means you probably have genuine capability that you can demonstrate. Mostly, your network is strong which is critical for success, especially at the senior level and you are open to hearing what you need to do in order to access it in a more meaningful way. You know who you are without apologizing and you are able to articulate your brand effectively or if you can’t yet, you’re open to learning how. By now, you’ve decided what your area of expertise is and you really are an expert in it. The fear you feel is real but you’re willing to do the work you need to in order to shorten your job search time frame. You are the ideal client because you know what the end goal is, you are genuinely enjoyable to spend time with and the work we do on your career strategy is interesting, engaging and unique to you.
The time around 50 seems to have its own special challenges and fears. Time no longer spreads out before us in decades while we decide what to do with our lives – we need to be decisive. Our children need us more and less at the same time. Our parents can become very dependent and in need of time and love. Balance is a concept that makes us laugh out loud. By now we know that the story we were told as girls that we could ‘have it all’ was not quite true. We can, just not all at once! Our career goals can be more audacious while we simultaneously worry whether we are still relevant and young enough. It must be the reason why we find those grey hairs that appear in our hairline, seemingly overnight. Redundancy momentarily seems to highlight the worst fears but with the right coaching and the right approach to a job search, those initial fears can be managed. A strategic job search and taking control of your career in a way you never have before almost always leads to a much better outcome than you expect.
Dr Susan Roberts says: